Talking to yourself

This habit is normal when you spend so much time on the road driving through the countryside meeting people that surprisingly have survived in life and you can’t believe they haven’t died of starvation from getting themselves trapped in a cardboard box. As harsh as this may sound it’s true. I don’t like criticism of people but yet I do it, but only on a small scale. I think if Will Ferrell could tell the story it would induce more laughter.

There’s something primal that awakens inside you when you are sleeping in a small town in the middle of nowhere, your senses go into overdrive and you start studying your surroundings for danger, weapons for a savage caveman battle and a quick escape route should you need it.

The Traveller’s Diet

You may think being on the road is all sparkles and

tassles but it’s not always like that, You can try and eat healthy by searching towns for a food outlet that isn’t a servo, bakery or deli as hard as you like. You could attend these establishments and ask for something healthy and get looked at like a posh city slicker or just get a groan as if to say “You Serious Pal, Good Luck ”

Now I love a good bakery or servo meal just like everyone else but eating these meals three or more days a week somehow makes your clothes magically shrink. I also do wonder how often some of these people shower and wash their hands. My Diet is Ruined and the struggle of being trim is now real.


Did I mention if you eat then you have to shit, sometimes I think it would be easier to just starve then stop in some of the toilets that are around. “Back in the old days we had long drops” I hear you say. Guess what, I am not from back in the old days. I like hygeine and clean things. If I happen to sit in one of these dirty piss puddle dunnys and my trousers touch the ground I will just rip them off and burn them. No thanks

Night Companion

The night time comes and you are stuffed from working all day, you have entertained customers (some end up being more like mates mind you) and you head back to your motel room and sit, watch TV and end up just working on the laptop all night because there is F-all else to do. If only it was the high flying, pumped full of entertainment lifestyle some think.

Office Zoo

When the alternative is to be caged inside an office like an animal in a zoo, conforming to office etiquette unlike me who can rip the stinkiest of air poos and laugh as loud as I can in my car and eat tuna all day without complaint I know which one I would choose. Change is always good in my eyes and that’s what I get from being on the road and looking at different things all the time.

Entertainment For Long Drives

Some of us listen to the radio flipping from station to station trying to keep in reception, others still crank CD’s, there’s music, Books that are narrated and podcasts. Some even choose to sleep which never ends up good for anyone. I myself have tried and use them all, I use this time to fast track learning and reading. On some drives I can listen to 16hrs of books that would take the average reader months to get through.

So wrapping this up for now I could consider myself the lucky one who’s complaints really are minimal and sometimes humorous, but always managing to turn my work travels into an adventure makes me Part of the great Aussie story that is being cemented in history.



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